This self-righteous judgmental statement was uttered with the deliberate intention to hurt. (And the punch carried plenty of extra weight, because this person is respected in his church.)
It took a long time to work though this, a number of years ago. It has been on my mind lately, and I think it has great relevance here.
First, I have forgiven this person, and the action was akin to letting go of an electric fence.
If you’ve never had the sensation: when you contact the wire, the fence charger senses the current path to ground and comes on at full power. You get a serious whammy if the ground is good and conductive. And it HURTS! Every muscle in your body that’s between the fence wire and the ground path contracts at full force. You have literally no control, until the fence charger cycle turns off. If you’re dumb enough to have contacted the wire with the palm of your hand, the power from the fence charger will cause your hand to contract into a fist, and you can’t let go!
You have to decide to let go of the fence, and do it when the fence charger is between cycles. It’s a deliberate act, and you have to take the chance when it’s given you. Otherwise, you’re in for another serious whammy when the fence charger turns back on in about five seconds.
I’ve let go of this. It took some real time, but anytime I find myself getting wound up about it, I remember the fence charger. Works for me; now let’s move on the the point of this story:
Here’s where I am: God brought me to this point in my life to write. He gave me a curious mind, and the ability to share what I’ve found. Reflecting the title of this posting, I actually enjoy being wrong.
Wait, what?
I enjoy being wrong, because it is an opportunity to learn, and to pass along what I’ve learned. Maybe I can help someone save some time, avoid a mistake, or even more, for them to avoid being hurt or injured.
Second:
I believe that we all have gifts from God, and to deliberately misuse these gifts is a grievous sin.
From 1 Peter 4:10:
Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
Notice: ‘to serve others’, not to judge others. The only time we get to judge anyone is if they are in our employ (for instance, when I was running television crews, I had to judge performance and adherence to the script on a moment-by-moment basis) or if they are our slave. Seems safe to say that neither case applied above.
Third:
What you say in a heated moment reveals a lot about the darkness in your heart. This is also why I don’t care to listen to every-day political stuff. This got the Ephesians into really hot water with Paul.
From Ephesians 4:
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Pretty rough treatment from Paul, there.
Since we’re also talking about gifts here, one of the other ways I’ve been wired to do things also kicked in and ran like a computer program:
I connect things.
I suddenly saw the connection from this person thinking he recognized something in me (because we see our own faults in others first); and it ran along to other things:
The need to be right is only the visible tip of an iceberg.
If you have to be right, then that means you stop listening to others when their point of view disagrees with yours.
Here’s where I try hard to differ with this person: You listen, you learn about the world around you, you learn better ways of doing things. But you have to listen to the person’s whole point of view!
But what if I find I disagree with you? Should I stop listening there? Of course not!! We’re all entitled to our own opinions; this is one of the very few entitlements in this world. Besides (and this is of paramount importance), unless I listen, I’ll never learn anything new.
Just because I might disagree with you doesn’t give me the right to stop listening, cut you off, and start arguing with you in some high-handed pretense of making you change your mind.
And please notice that you have to stop listening in order to think up clever-minded ‘zingers’, like the above. There’s also the aspect of simple human respect.
Cultivating this churlishness has a subtle and destructive effect upon your personality, beginning with attempting to find a way to disagree about every little thing. Quickly you graduate to being unable to accept favors, advice, and works offered in love. Eventually, nobody wants to be in your presence for fear of being judged.
Being unable to accept others the way they are builds neither your faith nor your wisdom; nor the faith of our fellow man. God does his best work with open hearts and open minds.